have been reading abit more than usual recently, probably due to the ' slacking mode' that i put myself in for this holz. always felt that reading is such a pleasure. snuggling at home with a good book + ice cream = heaven! haha~ i don't know if i am the only moronic one with a vivid imagination. whenever i read a book, it's like as if im watching a movie with the scene playing in my head, following exactly what the author's writing. i can even see the faces of the characters. maybe this the reason why i have never really fancy watching tv shows.

recently, felt that some people around me getting ' over-reactive' of their personal achievements. there's one thing that i always keep in my mind "on a netball court, you can bring yourself really far if you want to. but if you are proud and satisfy with what you have just because you are playing well NOW, you will never go far. " cause not much time is needed, you will be staggering behind, desperately trying to pick up the pieces of your heart that you have left behind. when you were running blindly. with a unconcious yet racing mind.

it never felt good to be caught in between. when you love and care for both yet there's nothing you can do to reduce the pain and hurt that your love ones are going through. maybe the best solution to be fair to both is to trust them that they are both adults and will solve the issue by themselves. leave them alone. but i really wonder, how can you expect me to leave them alone and not do anything when you see your dear friend hurting so badly? yet anything you do might hurt the other party. whatever it is, remember i love you both dearly. and really hope everythings will go back on track and head to where it's destined to go.

i no longer like you. but i am still in love with the memories.

i no longer miss you, but i still think of the times spent.

i no longer blame you, but i still blame myself sometimes.

i no longer smile at you the way i used to, not that i've changed, but things have changed.

i have never hate you, but i am still unsure if i have forgiven.

very soon, i will be able to talk about you without a flince, cause finally, im getting over you.