Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short, the music won't last.
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask:"How are you?"
Do u hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in bed,
With the next 100 chores, running through your head?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short, the music won't last.
Ever told your child, we'll do it tommorrow?
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time, to call and say "Hi"?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short, the music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there
When you worry and hurry though your day
Its like an unopened gift.
Thrown away.
Life is nOT a race.
Do take it slower.
hear the music before the song Is OVer.
got it from inky's blog and found it quite meaningful. things in practicum isnt really going on well. but 3 more days and everything will be over. think i will be going back malaysia over the weekend for a little getaway. need some time to just sit back and relax. listen to my discman,read, walk around, play with my little cousins and sleep~ haven been sleeping well... really need to catch some quality sleep before i go mad. haven been exercising. getting really fat. menses still haven come.. sucks! everyday is pms! my stomach is becoming so big. clothes no longer fit. RARR disgusting feeling but too lazee to start running.. dman high inertia.. save me... boo! i just cant stop feeling guilty about stuff. which is so bad. i can't stop thinking abt that idiot. which is so fucking bad. i seriously need to free myself from all this shit that is bothering me. and now, i just feel like running away from reality again. although i hate to admit it, but clubbing is indeed an escape for me. but i do enjoy dancing. as in i feel good when i dance. ok not when i feel fat. like now. =( drinking and smoking occasionally let me go into the so call la-la land when i can no longer think or control how i feel. in that state, i can't feel anything. i can't feel the pain and depression that i am going through. i can't feel the guilt for everything that's happening. at least for that moment, i feel freed. you may think taht i am thinking of some stupid excuse for myself. whatever. sadly, i can't please everybody. how i wish there are other soluttions. but i can't find them. so in the end, my solutions will be to binge or drink till i purge. puking is my new found best friend. and you tell me now, how screwed up can my life be.
i asked sam today if i can still join 21s even if i don't go for the aufora games in may. and she already told kate about it --> hitting the metal when its hot. and now, i kind of regret and abit of hesitation. damn it rachel yim...part of me feel like going back to train. go for nike. but i feel fat. i feel unfit. i feel lousy. and sadly, i feel so lousy that i can't find motivation to do something about it. and what if soem disgusting morons will pass a so-called-casual-comment like "oh you put on weight again." oh ya didn't you realise that i fucking don't want to know tat and you can obviously keep tat disgusting and gross remarks to yourself. ARGH neh... too tired to think...
my bdae's coming. and so why the hell am i not excited about it anymore. suppose to have a bdae bbq.. and now, i feel like cancelling it. will people even bother to come. and i feel like asking myself. celebrate wat... another sad year of your screwed up life?
i made it known at 5:27 PM
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